God’s love is powerful beyond our comprehension. God’s love has no limits.  It has no bounds. Yet in the fullness of its strength, God’s love is humble–reaching into the lives and hearts of the children of His creation.  True love has no need to boast or act in prideful ways. True love’s amazing power is self-evident not self-aggrandizing.

Love does not boast, Love is not proud.  I Corinthians 13:4

Love does not boast, Love is not proud.

God’s love does not ask us to put ourselves down. God actually calls us to love ourselves. According to God’s good way and true word, we are to love God and love others as we love ourselves. But our true love–for God, for others and for self–is to be completely void of any and all self-important boasting and self-focused or self-righteous pride.

Love does not boast, Love is not proud.                                                                True love lifts up the other. Builds up the other. Encourages the other. Strengthens the other. 

About five or six years ago, my husband Tim and I were asked to speak at a couple of sessions for The Marriage Course that our home church offered. We were so thankful to do this and share what God has done–and continues to do–in our marriage. But it really made us step-back and analyze what it really is that has made our marriage what it is.

Absolutely, the over-arching answer is LOVE. God is our first love; we are each other’s second love. This is the all-emcompassing foundation and fortress for our marriage–for our friendship, our living as lovers, partners and parents.

But as we really dug into what has made this marriage work, our answer is this: Humility.

HUH??? Yes, humility. Not boasting. Not pride. Not selfishly-focused thinking nor selfishly-demanding behaviors (at least not too often!)

True love knows that humility is a powerful and strengthening force in any relationship. There is nothing weak in true humility. It is one of God’s most powerful weapons against everything that would destroy love relationships.

Love does not boast, Love is not proud.

Doesn’t it make sense that humility–not boasting, not prideful actions–is what truly builds a marriage, or any relationship, in amazing ways? Think about it: God’s fullest revelation of love came through the absolute, extravagant humility of Jesus Christ.

Jesus humbled Himself and submitted His will to do what the Father, whom He loved so much, wanted Him to do.

Jesus humbled Himself and submitted His will to His ABBA so that all the children of God’s creation would know the boundless love of their Heavenly Father.

Through the humility of Jesus our enslavement to sin and the power of death were crushed and conquered for all eternity. There is no weakness in humility.

Love does not boast, Love is not proud.

We each need to yield ourselves to the power of love. We need to humble ourselves before those we love. All forms of boasting, all expressions of selfish pride are deadly to all relationships.

Humility is the expression of true LOVE that is strong enough…

to be real and authentic–without any puffed-up presentation of self…

to admit sin and shame, failure and frailty…

to ask for forgiveness…

to offer forgiveness…

to ask the other for help…

to set aside the need to always be right…

to acknowledge when the other is right…

to seek to understand the other’s perspective…

to build up, encourage and celebrate the other.

Love does not boast, Love is not proud. 

It just isn’t necessary. The extravagant humility and self-sacrificing love of Jesus prove this. And God offers us His same power to love others as He loves us.

True LOVE is strong enough to be humble.

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

God’s love is able to fill the very deepest needs and most persistent longings of our hearts and lives. And it is God’s love that not only is able to fill these deep needs and longings, but it is only God’s love that ever will fill them completely.

We need to stop seeking from any source other than God’s love to have our needs and longings met. Because if we don’t, an attitude of envy will grow up and fill us instead with bitterness, resentment and disappointment.

Love does not envy.  I Corinthians 13:4

 Love does not envy.

And in the presence of God’s love–there cannot be anything to envy. Nothing. Nothing fulfills us like God’s love.

But sadly, we don’t always allow God’s love–and the good gifts God has provided through His love–to really do what they were meant to do: fill us with deep satisfaction, contentment and thankfulness.

Love does not envy.

Envy takes a firm claw-like-hold on us whenever we look to other people, other things or other circumstances–anything other than God–to be the source for our happiness and our reasons for thankfulness.

Whenever we crave what else there is out there we become jealous and envious and lose all sight of the truth of God’s love.  

Love does not envy.

Envy feeds on twisted lies of dissatisfaction and ungratefulness: 

We want that something we don’t have,

we want that something that somebody else does have,

that different circumstance,

that different job,

that different title,

that different home,

that different car,

that different personality,

that different ability,

that different body,

that different father,

that different mother,

that different husband,

that different wife,

that different child,

that different life!

Love does not envy.

Envy shuts us away from God–and we no longer can see the truth of His love for us. Too many disappointments and resentments over what we don’t have cloud our view. But others can clearly view the ugly, greedy, jealous, satisfied-with-nothing attitudes that ENVY spews from us.

That is NOT the way love does it!

Love does not envy.

Envy keeps us from truly acknowledging and thanking God as the One who has given us all we need to satisfy our souls…as the One who has given us our very breath…and as the One who cut off the breath of His Son Jesus in order to forgive our sins and give us eternal life.

That IS the way love does it!

Love does not envy.

We need to look around. Not at anyone else. Just look around at our own circumstances and our own relationships.

We need to love the way love does:

Take Nothing and No One for granted

Find a reason (even if it’s a small one) to thank God:

for all circumstances in your life,

for all people in your life.

And thank them, too.

Give God thanks for who He is,

Give God thanks for all you have,

Give up  and get rid of all envy and bitterness

Be grateful…you will love more greatly.

All that we have, all that we are–are gifts from our God that come out of His soul-satisfying love for us.

We each need to let God’s love transform our minds so that envy and jealousy are crushed. We should no longer spew out envy onto those around us.

Rather, as God’s love transforms us we will flow more freely with a heart of thankfulness and appreciation to both God and to others. All those others in our lives who, like us, need God’s love to fill the deepest needs and longings of their souls, too. 

Love does not envy. 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

Love is…the very power and nature of the Living God. And His love is patient and kind. It is for us to fully receive. It is for us to fully give.

Love is patient, Love is kind…I Corinthians 13:4

God’s love for us is patient and kind.

God’s love is so real. God’s knows exactly what we need for our own hearts to be healed, strengthened and transformed. We need God’s full and perfect love. 

It is God’s love that offers us the patient understanding and gentle kindness that our hearts cry out to receive. God’s patient and kind love holds us tenderly and securely in ways that soothe our souls and offers us a place of rest and sanctuary for our minds, bodies and spirits.

I didn’t know much about patience or kindness growing up. Snap judgments, a hard smack across the face, cruel criticisms, ugly words–and far uglier, abusive actions were what I knew most.

But what I lived and experienced does NOT change who God is or what God has for me. God loves me. God is patient and kind. God’s love is NOT limited in any way just because I didn’t know patience and kindness in my home growing up.

God’s Word is true. God’s love is true. And God’s love is patient and kind.

God’s patient and kind love is full of understanding and compassion for who I am…and my God loves me even though I am frail, flawed and finite.

God’s patient and kind love quiets me, slows me down, holds me safely, gently reaches into my soul, massages my heart and refreshes my spirit.

God’s patient and kind love embraces and encourages me with the pure love that comes from my ABBA. I am a very beloved child–a very beloved woman–of my Holy God. 

And my Holy God commands and empowers me to offer His patient and kind love to all those in my life. Yes, all. No matter what I have known or experienced from others.

God calls me–and every one of His children–to love others in such a way that they too will know the healing, strengthening, transforming truth of God’s patient and kind love for themselves. 

 In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

I just wrote a six days series on Relationship Advice from our Dear God. And as I wrote from 1 Corinthians yesterday, it really hit me that I wanted to take a deeper look at this passage again. And for some (the two or three) of you who read this devotional, this will be a bit of a re-run because this is a 12 days series from some reflections I wrote last year. 

God’s Word is living and active—and I pray that these devotionals will be such for you also.

Okay! So we are to LOVE.

But what does real LOVE look like? God, again, makes that very clear.  And God gives us a very comprehensive overview of His view of LOVE.

Love is patient, Love is kind. Love does not envy, Love does not boast, Love is not proud. Love is not rude, Love is not self-seeking, Love is not easily angered, Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, Love always trusts, Love always hopes,  Love always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This beautiful passage has been quoted by many, many people over the years–believers and not-yet-believers–as a moving description of the essence of love. And that is what it is. This is what love looks like.

This is what God’s love looks like. This is how God loves us. But we are not just to be moved in our minds as we read and hear this description of what love looks like. We are to do something about it!

God wants His children to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus. God’s plan is to transform us within our deepest core so that we will love others like He does. We need to let God change us–deeply and daily–so we will actively and intentionally make choices in our words and actions that are truly lined up with God’s view of love!

In these few short verses, God has given us His characteristics of love, His actions of love and His promises of love. And God promises to empower each of us, His children, with His love.

So read the passage again–the Overview of Love–and get a good view of what love looks like…and what we will look like –speak like and act like–as we love others more like God.

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

So many times we will choose to pursue the greatest payback for ourselves within our relationships. We will choose to obtain our own all-too-often self focused desires.

Our Dear God’s relationship advice is far different…far greater…far more challenging…and far more excellent!

…eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way…

LOVE is patient, LOVE is kind,

it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

LOVE is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no records of wrong.

LOVE does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

LOVE always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

LOVE never fails.

1 Corinthians 12:13, 13:1, 4-8

So there’s the most excellent, most challenging, most joyful and most fabulous relationship advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

This may be a news flash for some of you, but: Even believers in Jesus can be grumpy—really, really grumpy! And we believers can also act in such self-pitying-downer ways that even Eeyore would have a hard time hanging around us. 

There will be times that the times we are going through and our interactions with others will make our choice to be—and stay—seething with anger or consumed with self-pity pretty darn easy…to the point that we begin to believe this is just how we are going to feel—and, therefore, act. 

But we have a choice. A life-bringing, freeing, powerful and, yes, still challenging choice: We can choose to be joyful.

…yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Habakkuk 3:19

Even in the midst of difficult times and difficult relationships: We can choose to be joyful. Because our LORD is with us, our LORD loves us, our LORD saves us and our LORD empowers us to choose to be joyful in Him! And having that perspective will make any relationship better—at least the part that we’re responsible for!

So there’s the anecdote to our grumpy, self-pitying ways: the life-brnging, freeing, powerful and, yes, still challenging relationship advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

Sometimes when I’m counseling married couples—and listening to each of their hurts and their reasons for anger…and listening to how they speak and act towards each other in hurtful, angry ways—I just want to yell out, “Just be nice!!!

I do know that is an outrageously simplistic response to the dysfunctional patterns of communication and behavior couples have gotten themselves into over their years together. And yet, their words and actions that have brought their marriage to such a hurting, angry place were said and done by choices they each made. And it’s time to make different choices…it’s time to choose to speak and act in different ways towards each other.

Maybe “Just be nice!!!” is far too simplistic…or maybe it’s a good place to start when making choices that will heal hurting hearts and dispel angry words and actions.

“Just be nice!!!” isn’t found in any specific Scripture verse, but this succinct and powerful relationship advice from the Word of God is:

Be kind and compassionate to one another…

Ephesians 4:32

So there’s the simple and direct…and amazingly challenging and healing relationship advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

People can treat us in horribly hurtful and unjust ways at times. Being treated wrongly by someone else can run the full range from being ignored and dismissed…to being rejected and ridiculed…to being manipulated and controlled…to being abused and persecuted.

All of this is sin. All of this is wrong behavior from others towards us. And God’s advice, for our own freedom and healing (and also for the one who has wronged us) is clear and unequivocal:

Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

———-

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44

———-

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Romans 12:14

Okay, so there’s the mind and heart confrontative…transforming advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

Today is Valentine’s Day. Over the years experts like Dear Abby, Dr. Ruth, Oprah and Kay Jewelers have shared all kinds of advice on how to make this day special for that special someone.

Their advice for how we should celebrate Valentine’s Day encourages fun, romance and excitement for the special couple…not to mention giving of delicious, dark (okay, that’s my own personal preference) chocolate and beautiful bouquets of flowers. Following their advice can be really good for the couple.

And yet, without any really deep, authentic, lasting expression of love, even the fun, romance and excitement of the day will eventually fade…the chocolate will be devoured rapidly eaten…the flowers will wither. 

God’s relationship advice—whether on special days…or on mundane daily days…or right in the midst of difficult days—is always the same when it comes to how we should love.

Love must be sincere.

Romans 12:9

Okay, so there’s the very succinct, to the point and, quite honestly, very challenging advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane

Okay, I’m not “Dear Abby”—and although I know she has had a lot of great advice about a lot of things, I prefer to offer advice on life and love and relationships from the One who is truly the Authority on life and love and relationships!

I have been counseling—formally for almost 30 years and informally…well, probably since I could talk! And the older I get (and I hope that means wiser, too!), I am more and more convinced that we need to seek GOD and GOD’s Word for the very best relationship advice…in order to have the very best relationships possible on this side of Heaven!

Be completely humble

and gentle;

be patient,

bearing with each other in love. 

Ephesians 4:2-3

Okay, so there’s the advice from our Dear God.

Now, here are my (in)famous two questions:

1. Do you believe it?…do you believe that this is God’s will for you in your relationships? And if you do…
2. What are you going to do about it? 

In love, peace and purposeful passion,                                                               Sylane